MEGA LOLZ.

 From this: when I was 15 and emo and had no sense.

To This: When I was 16/17 and 13 stone.

To This : age 18 after weightwatchers...

I remember when these photos were taken which is strange because my memory only last a few days at times.

The first photo : taken in my old house in Notting Hill. I used to hang around a green in Hammersmith called St Pauls green with some crackheads and take E and drink obscene amounts of alcohol.
I had a boyfriend called Josh: the biggest stoner I know, a cheat and a 19 year old who acts like a new born. He was fun though. I had the best years of my life on that stupid green. Even  when it was -2 degrees outside, the people I was with always made the night an adventure.

The second photo: in my new house in Chiswick when me and Caity and Anthony Pierce listened to music and got drunk and danced. That was actually fun. We pierced his ear. God I look obese. What was going through my head when I got that bob?

The last photo: taken the other day in my duvet. I was bored and wanted to make a nice 'arty' photo. Looking a lot better. I hope every year I improve and blossom. Probably the most happy I have been in a long time. Life is more simple.

NEW YEARS - The trauma

I am having withdrawal symptoms of alcohol and it's only been 2 days.HOW shit is that. More to the point, how ridiculous does that sound...only two days and my body is feeling like it's missing one of it's organs. Most likely to be my liver....

Every year, the trauma of organising new years arrives.
who comes, who's house party to go to, who won't be invited and the who you are going to kiss at midnight.

And most importantly, who is actually going to come up with a plan?
This year it has landed on me and my friend, Rory. The dilemma is where to have it, he wants to have an afterparty and most people don't want to travel from East London to West. I can have a new years party at my parents house but only 20 people (round the corner from Rory's)...which is not fun.
Another dilemma, my friend Caitlin is having her birthday at new years and I am helping her organise it which makes people more confused at WHERE WE ARE GOING?!

At the end of the day there is always one poor soul who has to organise the whole shabang.

Who comes? But this person's boyfriend isn't invited? Oh can I bring my friends sister's dog? But that person will think I'm desperate if I invite them?' ...... And so on. The continuation of the annoying questions.

And then theres the problem of who to kiss at midnight. Last year we actually had a rota of who would kiss who. I kissed my friend Julia, then She would kiss Tom, then I would kiss Tom, then He would kiss Noni, then I would kiss Noni, then Noni would kiss Julia. WE might as well have had a 4 way kissing session.

I want this year to be different, I don't want to kiss someone based on a rota. I want to kiss them because I genuinely want to, even when im sober which is a rare occasion.

Still, wouldn't it be nice to spend new years kissing someone that later on you don't regret?/Feel sick at the thought of/makes you want to cry.

Do you have to bring a date? well no not necessarily, you just need a backup. New years is very important to me. Especially since I hate christmas, thank god that's over for the next 12 months.

New years has been playing on my mind for the past few weeks, my friend offered to be my date which is lovely of him, I did moan to him on the phone for an hour about who to take as my ''date'' if you want to call it that. I would rather have like 5 dates to be frank. Theres always hope.

Whatever happens, I will make a huge effort to look incredible in that backless LBD and 6 inch stilletoes which will give me masses of confidence to kiss someone nice...and then I'll be happy.

<3

Fame

I am seriously bored of Cheryl Cole.

She is literally everywhere and has taken over.

People are saying that she is the new Princess Diana. WHAT a disgusting statement to make.

People will say that im just jealous, of what? she is a shit musician lets face it and what exactly has she done to change the world? what would I be jealous of? her beauty? She has had plastic surgery according to the tabloids and I'm sure if we all had proffessional hairdressers,make up artists and stylists on speed dial and available 24/7 then we would all look pretty damn good.

People say that when they are older, they want to be famous. Those who are already in the public eye say that they hate it. I don't blame them. Cheryl Cole is one of those people who also hate being in the public eye.

What do you gain from fame?

- Money- from selling stories to newspapers and magazines as well as your ''talent''

- Attention, plenty of it. Especially if you marry someone more famous than you are.Maybe even an A-lister.

- 15 minutes.

Money doesn't necessarily guarantee a lifetime of happiness. It brings you short term happiness and once you have gotten everything you want and theres nothing left that you wish for, then what? what do you do?

Take Cheryl Cole for example, money can't buy you a nice loving faithful husband

It can't buy you safety (reference to her malaria incident)

It can only really buy you materialistic things and a luxurious lifestyle but there will come a time when you are bored of it.

Being in the public eye drains energy and time and you are watched and photographed everytime you leave the house, even if you casually step out into your back garden, we know how desperate the paparazzi are to get that one semi nude/bum crack/nippe/acne/any type of fault that is defined by society, photograph to sell for thousands.

Fun Nights

Nights Out Before Home:

more like nights in actually.

I think I have more fun at home than going out in East London purely because you never know how the night ends, who will be there, what time I go to sleep (9am, because I cannot handle not sleeping at all), and just generally how messy the night is.

We seem to have started this habit of getting into the bath while trollied out of our minds. That bit is one of the highlights of the night.



Completely sober.





ME, CARYS, MORGAN.

gals on the lash.mega lolz.

The Holidays Begin

STILL not yet started on work but after the 5 day binge I have just had I think it's time to hibernate for a little while. My week has been amazing so far, I have most definetly been hangin' out my arse.

On Wednesday night, I went to Cheapskates, Tottenham Court Road, the skankiest most horrifically unhygenic club I have been to apart from the Redback. Besides their hygene standards the night is always fun. It normally consists of the same shinanigans:

Talk to some drunken 'lads' who are obviously leering down your top.

Wait 20-45 mins at the bar (while slurring at another group of guys) TRYING to buy a fucking drink. By the time you actually get to the bar you have sobered up and need at least 10 vodka diet cokes just to make up for the wait. At 90p a hit everyone is obviously desperate to buy as many drinks as possible.

Dance all night until it seems a good idea to run around bear foot because you have noticed your feet are bleeding from your 6 inch stillettos.

It may not seem like fun but someone's idea of HELL but honestly, at most cheap clubs what more can you expect? When people ask me to describe Cheapskates on a Wednesday night, I tell them that they will most definetly bring a 'delightful' young lad home to mother and father.

I did such a thing unfortunately. While trollied, I thought it would be a good idea to invite 2 guys back to mine (I know how it sounds but it was innocent) Lets call them...*Tom and *Jerome, heaven forbid if they ever find this. So basically me and ''Tom'' had been an item for that evening and he had his friend ''Jerome'' with him. We left and then went back to my parents house and after more drinking and talking about utter shit about their ''acting courriers'' FAIL, we went to sleep, Tom fell asleep first and then his friend thought it was a good idea to try and kiss me whilst we are all in the same bed. I was MORTIFIED.

Anyway, on another occassion, I saw both of these guys again, at my friend's Birthday. The same thing happened, apart from Jerome was trying it on with one of my friend's who had a boyfriend.....? Tom and I were just hanging out and kissing blah blah blah....then he tells me that he is engaged.... My mouth hung open for about 20 minutes until I reacted by shouting at him and telling him to ring his fiance. He obviously didn't do that. He also denied to my face that anything had happened between us and we had'nt done anything...I physically couldn't understand what planet this boy was on. So half an hour later he tells me that it was a joke and that those were his ''acting skills'' he was definetly all over the shop. What a complete loser.




On Thursday night I went to Punk, in Tottenham Court Road with my 3 friends, Caitlin, Michael and Emily <3
It was one of the best night's I have had in a long time, we danced all night, drank and sat on my friend's table. I won't go into detail.

At Imogen's Christmas party I dressed up as puss in boots because its.....festive.....?

Gareth My Dear Friend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C_LMYdKzWY

Gareth Pugh Autumn/Winter 2009




This video makes me feel HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH
high high high high
hi?

HECTIC STRESSFUL LONG EFFORT TIME HECTIC STRESSFUL LONG EFFORT TIME HECTICLONGEFFORTTIMEHECTICLONGEFFORTTIMELONGEFFORTTIMESTRESSFUL

I just saw this person's blog.I forgot what it was called and who it was by but apparently she is quite famous because of it. She has written 100000000000 blog posts and I'm struggling to understand where she finds the time? I wish I had more time to write but...still.

This week is going to be so hectic with the list of work I have to complete by the 4th January:
- 1 FULL sketchbook
- Finish the other sketchbook
- Produce 6 design boards
- 2 outcomes
- Photoshop work- Take photographs
- 1,200 word essay on 4 objects.

And now apparently life drawing homework which is an essay and 5 gallery visits and all this other shit.
As student rep, I had to email some people from my class basically asking them to give me a list of bullet points to complain about the ridiculous amount of work we have to do.

Most of them didn't even know we had to have a life drawing sketchbook.......

Anyway It's Christmas?! It shouldn't be called a holiday because it is clearly not going to be.

I am trying to figure out how I am not going to suffer from a hangover everyday (my hangovers last ALL DAY...until I drink more)

Wednesday - Cheapskates
Thursday - Punk
Friday - Friend's Birthday at the pub
Saturday - Redback
Sunday - Imogen's Christmas party

It's not like I can say no to all these events because I have not seen people from uni/chiswick/west LDN in forevvvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrr and also it will be better than sitting at home with a sketchbook in one hand and an unfinished essay in the other.
But after this week I am pretty much available I think. We'll see.....
Also I have to spend time with my granny <3 she is the cutest little woman. She's Turkish and speaks next to no English. This is probably the last time I am going to see her, so I think I'll make the most of it.

DRINKDRINKDRINKDRINKDRINKDRINK.