Anti To The Climax

I came home expecting more than a warm welcome...I would be lucky if I even got that. People don't miss your presence unless you are truly gone. I realised that it wasn't home that I was missing, it was how it used to be. Some people never left and some have gone and started a new persona, well really, an ''alter-ego''

Like a person on drugs.

Everytime I come back home I expect so much more than I should really, I expect so much to be going on when really, to be honest I should have just stayed back in East LDN where my new life and new friends are. I miss it already and I've only been here 3 days. It's time to ''man up''     ?

This weekend was uneventful.

1. Seeing the most unlikely person get off with the town bicycle (lads on tour)
2. Friends who havn't placed their priorities in order yet...
3. Sexual tension was present, yet again.

I find this strange, I only have 3 points to mention. What a shame. This clearly proves how un-eventful the weekend was.

Number 3: How frustrating. It might be curiosity but I know that this curiosity would be satisfied if only I knew it would not end up a mistake. It came close to happening once but I stopped it. Fuck self control. Fuck conscience. Fuck always trying to see the best in a person. If this person became nicer, kinder and less selfish (not completely but just a little bit) then I would definetly not let him slip away. It's odd because deep, DEEP down, I am aware of the kindness and vulnerabilty this person suffers. I wish I could be the person to bring the best out of him and prove everyone wrong. Wishful Thinking? yes...unlucky.